OT: About Lisa Frost

[Frank Hagan]

Last night, I posted a message that people were missing a girl named Lisa Frost, and asked if anyone here knew her.  Actually, Lisa Frost was one of the 9/11 victims, and my intent was to "personalize" the memory of one of the victims on this anniversary.

My wife, who can spot stupendous bad taste from a mile away, helped me realize that the problem with that technique is that it might cause a friend or family member of Lisa some pain as they try to get in touch with me to advise yet another person of her death.  So my apologies to anyone who was concerned or worried, or who really did know Lisa.

Today, on this anniversary of 9/11, the banner ads at the top will display images from 5 years ago.  Some are horrible, some are hopeful.  They all link to a rememberance site that lists each of their names and gives a brief bio.  If you are inclined, take a visit and click on some of the names.  

http://www.september11vic...s.com/september11victims/

Lisa Frost, someone I picked because she wasn't well known (and Google brought up several other possible Lisa Frosts), is mentioned here:
http://www.september11vic...ims/VictimInfo.asp?ID=166

[Tom Lathrop]

Yeah Frank,

It's real easy to do something insensitive these days when you only wanted the opposite.  I'm as guilty as the next person since I think we go about all such issues in the wrong way.  It's good to not forget the past but just as wrong to emphasize it, in my opinion.  I've seen cases near to home where kids have been traumatized by keeping tragedies, real and sometimes imagined, in front of them constantly until it becomes the focus of their lives.  

I felt exactly like that this morning as The Morning Show featured interviews with kids who were very young at the events of 9/11.  I know from personal experience that such young children will rather quickly adapt to life without father or mother if they are allowed to.  To some, that may seem callous, to me it's the right thing to do.

[Frank Hagan]

Its a fine line you walk in these things ... on the one hand, my younger sister never expressed that she felt so alone as we put up a brave front when a brother died.  We did it to protect her, of course, but she thought there was something wrong with her because she was so sad and we weren't (around her, anyway).  It was only later that she  could know, intellectually, that we were just as stricken with the ordeal.  In "protecting her" in the immediate aftermath, we actually took away one of the most important tools to deal with these things, that sense of family or community where shared experiences somehow lessens the ultimate impact of them.

But you've identified the reason I took the original message down, the "other hand" in this case.  In searching through the names, I wanted to find someone unknown, but in today's age almost everyone is accessible via a search engine.  And that same search engine might lead someone to my message who isn't a part of our group and would be concerned about someone not knowing that she is dead.

[Oyster]

And that same search engine might lead someone to my message who isn't a part of our group and would be concerned about someone not knowing that she is dead.

Thank you Frank for thinking of the family and other families yet to be identified here. I will leave additional comments on the sidelines.

[Tom Lathrop]

I wasn't thinking about the period soon after a tragedy, such as the one you experienced, but the long term.  In particular, any of the groups that have formed associations and keep the reasons for their grief on the front burner for years and decades.  It just doesn't seem good for mental health to me.

But then, that's just me.  Everyone is entitled to their own personal feelings on the matter.

[Frank Hagan]

Yeah, I think we're in agreement.  There is a time when you simply "move on", and a time when you remember.

[Howard]

This may also seem like it's in extremely bad taste, but is along the lines of what Tom is saying.

When I was in the 3rd grade, we showed up one day to learn our teacher had committed suicide. They dealt with it by telling us we now had a new teacher and our old one was not coming back, to get out our books and turn to page 50. We all knew why she wasn't coming back.

After an hour or so, things seemed normal. No grief counselers or anything. We never gave it a second thought.

[Oyster]

Horrific events that have many faceless and nameless people, only known to their families, still bring out people that still honor these events in history. We still, even in a small way with the decline of the education system, teach our youth, many that were not born in those era and time, about the struggles that have also allowed people to express their views, even some that seems extreme to some people that do not agree, today in the U.S.  

Holocaust , Pearl Harbor day, D-Day, 9/11

This really applies when the person doing the honoring pays for the banner to do so.